Strings

There are so many things which come up as this chain of these events, and each of them in itself is a mystery, and once you’ve crossed one hurdle (which had loomed so large initially) and you leave that behind it seems so little in front of the next one.

And that thing you did, you’re like OK that was OK, but this next thing is a challenge.

Eventually I guess its always about going from strength to strength and how much you have it in yourself to never quit.

We can all do so many things, our decisions only await the expenses of our doubts ( and probably a little bit of laziness )

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The Enlightenment

Have you ever had this moment, this moment where you’re left dumbstruck, with retrospection, forced to look into yourself, everything you’ve been through, and where you’ve reached? And yet, at that moment you’re a lot more wiser, maybe not so much in actions, but in understanding the reasons, and you know a lot more, so much more.

Two weeks back, I had come home during the weekend, and I was waiting for the elevator, beneath my building. As I stood there, in the monotony of my pathetic little life, three kids came jumping around, discussing something. On listening in, I found out they were discussing their Beyblades ( or Tazzos ) or something. And they were really animated about it, passionate as they could be. Soon after, came in another couple of kids, and this one kid from the latter group started jeering about some particular beyblade he had acquired. All the kids were seemingly awestruck by this new acquisition, when the bully from the original group started shouting, that his beyblade was much cooler than this new one, trying to bring the attention back to himself. A fight ensued with heated shouting, lots of snatching and shoving, and one kid almost coming down to tears. And all this while, I just stood there, shocked, as the elevator door opened and closed on me.

I  stood there because I was dumbstruck, lost for words seeing how passionate these kids were for these little things, while I had become so estranged with the simplicity of life. I was shocked to see how much they could fight over a beyblade, while I had to cope with thousands of frustrations at work, with relationships, betrayals, infatuations, insecurities, expectations, addictions, and the myriad mixtures of the anxieties, moments, the depressions, moments, and the solace-seeking indulgences I had learned to live within. I could see myself, right there, in those kids, in my school days, fighting over Pokemon Tazzos, or Wrestling Cards, or just the simplest things of life. To quote Johnny Cash, “What have I become, my sweetest friend?” Why was life such a struggle now, when it was so simple and happy once? At that precise moment, I could see everything flash right in front of my eyes, and I so desperately wished that those boys never reach here. Their happiness was so real, so pure, unlike my much maligned, broken and superficial laughter.

Haven’t things just become so complicated, that its almost incomprehensible to imagine such naivety ? And, if at that moment, I could just get one wish granted, the wish of my life probably, it would’ve been – take this away god, Give me that back !

And there lied my Nirvana, and that was my Enlightenment.

Down Memory Lane…

Sometimes, there’s parts to your story, you want to keep to yourself, things you don’t want to face, but you have to eventually, when your friends had that bad day as well, but you’re still making it worse; but there are other parts; the beautiful ones, the innocent ones, that lighter side that you wish would come back, and suddenly one day, it does!!

Sometimes, all these parts, the good and the bad ones, you come across them all in a single day ( or more like 26 hours). I had that day yesterday..

I learned:

1.) Save the hurting for later

If you could keep your sanity when people were judgmental, a straight face; while on the inside, the arrogance was too much to take, and the T word has been played with too many times, be the brave guy.

2.)It can always get better

A single childhood joke, that small detail, the kiddy games, shared, between those friends from then, and voila, it does.

3.)The true friend

Talk, share, ask, laugh, listen,conspire, inspire and speak a lots…your punching bag!

4.)Superlative

You’re not the only one who had this day, or at least had significant action in theirs, there’s a place to stop, turn, and take another road, because this road, there’s too many crashes along it, and the hurting dwells again..

Contemplating the Post…

Apologies once again for passing up on the blog for more than 3 months. Thanks to this absence, I’ve now officially become a dormant blogger according to some of the worlds most read blogs. Please read them blooooogs, they’re scribbled upon often enough with the regular supposedly inspirational/self-conscious updates, love their numbers, need your support.

Anyways, its not that i haven’t wanted to write all this time, there has been a lot to write on, things the world has seen, movies that i’ve seen, places I’ve been to, faces I’ve met, and all along I’ve wanted to share the thoughts. Again, I don’t even have excuses to fall back on, its not that I’ve been especially busy, nor have I been isolated from the www.

I can remember many instances when i reached the wordpress homepage, logged in, even worked on the plentiful spam, kept opening all the blogs i read for strictly inspirational purposes, n then eventually closed the browser, promising myself of the effort another time.

Contemplation could be something I could go on ranting about here, but naah, that’d make it boring though. I’m usually casual about things, and dont often give a fuck to most things that happen around me, so hell I if didn’t get the steroids for blog writing, does it really matter.

The fact is blogging has become too much’ve a formality to go back to, and I’m really too lazy to be dressed in my best brain Armanis every now n then to raise the post toast.

Anyhows, this is whats bin happening off late:

1. Lots’ve trance, used to mock Shanky for his trance habits once, now i can’t get the dope out’ve my system.

2.Irritating people’s still on, though the bar’s been raised, I’m now the proud winner of the Best Brag title.

3.Did not, could not go back home this Holi, too bad.

4.Please find me the anti-dope for DOTA, do I really want it?

5.Plan to get up late tomorrow, or rather don’t plan to get up early tomorrow.

PS: 5 ways to screw up a perfect day:

->Attend double RC Jha lectures.

->Fight everyone, esp. those u’re not talking to in person (i.e on calls, the net , etc.)

->Applicable to Tuesdays n Thursdays: Have breakfast in the hostel.

->See your unlucky charm sometime during the day ( though some of my friends have contagious effects, with their grims giving hell to everyone around them as well).

->There’s a fifth way, I never have a perfect day.

( Do I have to fill in the excerpt given below as well? )