Home [again]..not really

Blogging has generally been on now/off then for some while, my apologies.

Life, the daily course of events, the people we meet,  the places we go, the good times, the not so great ones, the laughs, the fights, the comforts, the fears, their reasons, basically everything; keeps doing circles, seems to move on, but ever so slowly. There are times, times of your life, but on other times, they just don’t seem right.

I don’t exactly read too much into fate/destiny et al, but sometimes, just the course of events makes you ponder about why certain things are the way they are, how could they have been better, or did you turn them to the worse, because you were selfish.

Sometimes, I don’t easily get what people try to do with themselves. What makes them happy? Maybe its just the self-centric thing, but some decisions become almost too incomprehensible, too difficult to accept easily. And then, once again the usual cycle of explaining, understanding, the non-understanding, again explaining, and making a very confused, not-exactly-a-yes nod follows. I try non-interference, it becomes ignorance,  i try self-confinement, that becomes attitude, i say fuck it, becomes fuck off.

Makes me realize comic relief is probably the best thing that ever came out. The lighter moments, however insignificant, almost always make life easier, alleviate the pains, and bring back the happiness, however short-lived. Some of the best (recent) comic relief I’ve come across (again this is no order of nothing):

1. The Mock Swine Flu story, my sis told me

2. The Chronicles of Hostel-3 stud(appa)

3. The Ali G show, Borat, Bruno

4. Sarcasm (always works)

5. The Hostel-3 lobby Bak*****

6. The use of Dark Seer by Leon

7. Mumbai touch-ups

8. The time around college et al

9. Lots’ve things actually, invisible, easily lost with time, yet significant, as soon as something sprouts them up, again.

Keep Healthy. Take Care. There’s a lots’ve life out there. Most of it not easy. Live. Relieve.

Down Memory Lane…

Sometimes, there’s parts to your story, you want to keep to yourself, things you don’t want to face, but you have to eventually, when your friends had that bad day as well, but you’re still making it worse; but there are other parts; the beautiful ones, the innocent ones, that lighter side that you wish would come back, and suddenly one day, it does!!

Sometimes, all these parts, the good and the bad ones, you come across them all in a single day ( or more like 26 hours). I had that day yesterday..

I learned:

1.) Save the hurting for later

If you could keep your sanity when people were judgmental, a straight face; while on the inside, the arrogance was too much to take, and the T word has been played with too many times, be the brave guy.

2.)It can always get better

A single childhood joke, that small detail, the kiddy games, shared, between those friends from then, and voila, it does.

3.)The true friend

Talk, share, ask, laugh, listen,conspire, inspire and speak a lots…your punching bag!

4.)Superlative

You’re not the only one who had this day, or at least had significant action in theirs, there’s a place to stop, turn, and take another road, because this road, there’s too many crashes along it, and the hurting dwells again..

F.U.R.B

The Words:

Sometimes its fun being with the difficult guy…otherwise u’re a jerk most’ve the time! becomes such a piss-off..

The Song:

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

The Reply:

.<F.<U><R>B>.

The End.

Contemplating the Post…

Apologies once again for passing up on the blog for more than 3 months. Thanks to this absence, I’ve now officially become a dormant blogger according to some of the worlds most read blogs. Please read them blooooogs, they’re scribbled upon often enough with the regular supposedly inspirational/self-conscious updates, love their numbers, need your support.

Anyways, its not that i haven’t wanted to write all this time, there has been a lot to write on, things the world has seen, movies that i’ve seen, places I’ve been to, faces I’ve met, and all along I’ve wanted to share the thoughts. Again, I don’t even have excuses to fall back on, its not that I’ve been especially busy, nor have I been isolated from the www.

I can remember many instances when i reached the wordpress homepage, logged in, even worked on the plentiful spam, kept opening all the blogs i read for strictly inspirational purposes, n then eventually closed the browser, promising myself of the effort another time.

Contemplation could be something I could go on ranting about here, but naah, that’d make it boring though. I’m usually casual about things, and dont often give a fuck to most things that happen around me, so hell I if didn’t get the steroids for blog writing, does it really matter.

The fact is blogging has become too much’ve a formality to go back to, and I’m really too lazy to be dressed in my best brain Armanis every now n then to raise the post toast.

Anyhows, this is whats bin happening off late:

1. Lots’ve trance, used to mock Shanky for his trance habits once, now i can’t get the dope out’ve my system.

2.Irritating people’s still on, though the bar’s been raised, I’m now the proud winner of the Best Brag title.

3.Did not, could not go back home this Holi, too bad.

4.Please find me the anti-dope for DOTA, do I really want it?

5.Plan to get up late tomorrow, or rather don’t plan to get up early tomorrow.

PS: 5 ways to screw up a perfect day:

->Attend double RC Jha lectures.

->Fight everyone, esp. those u’re not talking to in person (i.e on calls, the net , etc.)

->Applicable to Tuesdays n Thursdays: Have breakfast in the hostel.

->See your unlucky charm sometime during the day ( though some of my friends have contagious effects, with their grims giving hell to everyone around them as well).

->There’s a fifth way, I never have a perfect day.

( Do I have to fill in the excerpt given below as well? )

Black Candy Blues

Lewis Hamilton’s F1 win could well be an indicator for things to come. The United States goes into elections today, and for the first time in its history, a black man is being touted as a heavy favourite. And Hamilton’s F1 win may be seen as an indicator for things to come.

Not getting into any race-driven ( excuse the pun ) feelings, but an Obama victory would certainly be refreshing, what remains to be seen is whether he can deliver the change he’s promised.

The important thing here is not to rule out his very formidable opponent in Sen. John McCain. As a former POW, he’s displayed the strength, at both physical and mental levels to make this fight far from a one-sided affair. Even though i’ve always believed the US electoral system to be error prone, it always provides interesting outcomes. May the best man win!

Chelsea have bounced back brilliantly from their Bridge defeat to Liverpool, and have snatched the top spotin the PL again after falling to 2nd last Sunday. Emphatic victories against Hull ( 3-0 a ) and Sunderland ( 5-0 h also involving a Nicholas Anelka hat-trick ) have ensured they have a far superior goal difference ( +23 ) than any of the other title contenders.

A movie that i saw recently was Burn After Reading. From the very impressive duo of Ethan and Joel Coen ( of The Big Lebowski, Fargo, and No Country for Old Men fame ), this movie , for me, couldn’t stand up to their previous highs. Although loaded with the highest-end cast of George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Jon Malkovich, Brad Pitt and Tilda Swinton, the movie fails to find a stable plot and keeps juggling between a situational comedy and a Government thriller. The background score is very impressive, and helps build suspense towards a climax, which ends up being very soft.

Overall i’d rate this movie at 7/10 for its background score, and the impressive cast.

Rajdeep Sardesai’s letter to Raj Thackerey

This comes after I recently got involved in the  “Migrants in  Mumbai” debate at kv’s blog.

My Dear Raj,

My apologies for having to communicate through the editorial pages of a newspaper, but frankly am left with little choice since you seem to have decided to stay away from the so-called ‘national’ non-Marathi media. Let me at the very outset say that I am impressed with the manner you have carved a niche on the political landscape of Maharashtra. I distinctly remember meeting you in February last year soon after the Mumbai municipal corporation elections. It wasn’t the best of times: your party, the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena had been marginalized while your cousin Udhav Thackeray and the Shiv Sena had captured power in the city. With many of your supporters deserting you, you appeared down, if not quite out. Twenty months later, I see you’ve bounced back: every local and national daily has you on the front page, you are the subject of television debates and your politics has even united Bihar’s warring netas.

And yet, my friend, there is a thin line between fame and notoriety, more so in the fickle world of politics. Bashing north Indian students may grab the headlines, getting arrested may even get you sympathy and strident rhetoric will always have a constituency, but will it be enough to secure your ultimate dream of succeeding your uncle Bal Thackeray as the flagbearer of Marathi asmita (pride)?

If Balasaheb in the 1960s rose to prominence by targeting the south Indian “lungiwala”, you have made the north Indian “bhaiyaa” the new ‘enemy’. In the 1960s, the Maharashtrian middle class in Mumbai was feeling the pressure of job competition for white collar clerical jobs. Today, it seems that there is a similar sense of frustration at losing out economically and culturally to other social groups in Mumbai’s endless battle for scarce resources. With the Congress and the NCP having become the real estate agents of the state’s rural-urban bourgeoise and the Shiv Sena a pale shadow of its original avatar, the space has been created for a charismatic leader to emerge as a rabble-rouser espousing the sons of the soil platform.

But Raj, I must remind you that electoral politics is very different from street agitations. Sure, round the clock coverage of taxis being stoned and buses being burnt will get you instant recognition. Yes, your name may inspire fear like your uncle’s once did. And perhaps there will always be a core group of lumpen youth who will be ready to do your bidding. But how much of this will translate into votes? Identity politics based on hatred and violence is subject to the law of diminishing returns, especially in a city like Mumbai, the ultimate melting pot of commerce. Your cousin Udhav tried a “Mee Mumbaikar” campaign a few years ago that was far more inclusive, but yet was interpreted as being anti-migrant. The result was that the Shiv Sena lost the 2004 elections – Lok Sabha and assembly – in its original citadel of Mumbai. Some statistics suggest that nearly one in every four Mumbaikars is now a migrant from UP or Bihar. Can any political party afford to alienate such a large constituency in highly competitive elections?

Maybe, your not even looking at winning seats at the moment, but simply staking claim to the Sena legacy in a post Bal Thackeray scenario. Perhaps, thats exactly what the ruling Congress-NCP combine in Maharashtra wants: like a market leader who gets competing brands to crush each other, the Congress-NCP leadership seems to be practicing divide and rule politics once again. They did it with Balasaheb and the communists in the 1960s, with Bhindranwale and the Akalis in the 1980s, even with the Kashmir valley politicians in the 1990s. A larger-than-life Raj Thackeray suits the ruling arrangement in Maharashtra because it could erode its principal rival, the Shiv Sena’s voter support. It’s a dangerous game, but often when politicians run out of ideas, they prefer to play with fire. It’s a fire that could leave Mumbai’s cosmopolitanism scarred for life.

Now, before you see my writings as the outpourings of an anglicized non-resident Maharashtrian, let me just say that, like you, I too am proud of my roots. I too, would like to see the cultural identity of Maharashtrians preserved and the economic well-being of our community assured. Where we differ is that I am a citizen of the Republic of India first, a proud Goan Maharashtrian only later. Fourteen years ago, I left Mumbai for Delhi to seek professional growth and was distinctly fortunate to be readily embraced by the national capital. Like millions of Indians, I too am a migrant and a beneficiary of a nation whose borders don’t stop at state checkpoints.

Moreover, I cannot accept that ‘goondaism’ is the way forward to forging a robust Maharashtrian identity. By vandalizing a shop or stoning a taxi, what kind of mindless regional chauvinism are we promoting? Taking away the livelihood of a poor taxi driver or beating up some defenceless students from Bihar reflects a fake machismo that is no answer to what ails Maharashtrian society today. The Maharashtra I once knew was inspired by the progressive ideals of the bhakti movement, by a Shahu-Phule-Ambedkar legacy of social reform. Are we going to dismantle that legacy under the weight of hate politics?

When you started your party a few years ago, it had been pitched as a party committed to a “modern” Maharashtra. If that vision still stands, why don’t you take it forward in real terms? Why don’t you, for example, set up vocational courses and technical institutes for young Maharashtrians to make them competitive in the job market? Why not, for that matter, start English-speaking classes for Maharashtrian students to equip them for the demands of the new economy? If cultural identity is such a concern, why not launch a statewide campaign to promote Marathi art, theatre and cinema by financially supporting such ventures? If Mumbai’s collapsing infrastructure worries you, then target the politician-builder nexus first. And isn’t it also time we realized that Mumbai is not Maharashtra, that the long suffering Vidarbha and Marathwada farmer needs urgent attention? Why not use your political and financial muscle to start projects in rural Maharashtra instead of focusing your energies on Mumbai’s bright lights alone? An employment generation scheme in a Jalna or a Gadchiroli may not make the front pages, but it will have far greater value for securing Maharashtra’s future.

Jai Hind, Jai Maharashtra!

Chelsea- The 86 streak tribute

Back in 2002, on a random day in school, at a GK period, a friend of mine, who was conducting a small mock quiz for the class, asked my team a question I don’t remember. We didn’t have the answer, and he prompted me by saying, “C’mon Kartik, it’s your favorite team, the one you told me about”. To be frank, I didn’t have a single clue to what he was referring, but I replied, “Is it Chelsea?” As it turned out it was Chelsea, and it’s been Chelsea ever since then. Maybe the word Chelsea had come up in one of our random sports talk ( and there were too many ), but I don’t think I can guess what logistics made him call that team my favorite.

Something happened today!

Sometimes when something ends all of a sudden, its strange how you wish it would never have been in the first place. But the worst strikes, when you have to deal with that for the first time.

Chelsea lost for the first time at the Stamford Bridge in a Premier League game for 4 years and 8 months. I felt like it’d be better if I could cry, and not many things make me feel that way. They’ll all come to me, they’ll repeat it to me- it’d be better if I could cry.

Shortly after that first stint with Chelsea, the cable operator at our place didn’t air ESPN-Star for a long time. But by that time, I’d become Chelsea enough to stop at that. Sure, Zola, Zenden, Hasselbaink, Le Saux et al didn’t claim to be invincible, but flames of my Chelsea romance had already been lit.

We shifted to Mumbai around summer 2004, which hadn’t been the best of my times. On the first day to new school, I met this friend, one who still is probably the best of them I’ve got. He asked me if I followed football, that did I watch the EPL, if I supported a club? Maybe, not entirely truthfully, I said I watched football games all the time. I said I was a Chelsea fan ( for the first time ). And it was never about the money as they keep telling me. 

I had seen the game when they last lost a home premier league game, but at that time it didn’t matter. It was OK. Chelsea was also-rans, and they lost to a season-unbeaten Arsenal side. That was February 2004.I was 15 then.

Ever since then, I’d never seen them fail, not at the fortress called Stamford Bridge, that is until today, October 26, 2008, a day after my 20^th birthday.

The legend of the phoenix is that it rises back from its own ashes, every time it dies, and though today wasn’t the death of the Chelsea legend, it’s time we rebuild it again. It took them all 86 games ( a total of 26 different teams ) to finally bring the streak to an end. I hope its 860 now. I hope I live to see them keep winning at home forever…..

True Blue Forever…..

Are we terrorized?: The Good Year- Analogies with a Joker

Its been troubled times lately. The world all of a sudden seems a much more gloomier place than it was an year ago. And NO its not about the dementors ( i guess ). “Its chaos, and right now its the rule”

We’ve been seeing the physical terror striking every now and then. New militant groups spring out of extremist ideologies each day, they kill innocents, and innocents for whose cause they supposedly fight keep getting branded as miscreants. Multiple blasts in various cities across Asia have suddenly hindered the progressive peace and prosperity drives that resulted in significant financial improvements in the region. Political leaders keep playing the blame game, and well-wishers of the common are numbered. “People are dying out there, what’d you do? “

Money changes hands, money disappears, and keeps re-appearing, but money lives on- So where’s all the money gone now? Global Credit Crunch, Inflation, Rising Interest Rates, Taxes, Crude Prices; frankly i heard about most of them, this past quarter. Its not that money was easy to handle before, but its become a lot more difficult to understand now. People lose jobs each day, they kill themselves for their situation, its not because they don’t have the money now, its because they have seen it before, they’ve been on the highs, and now can’t live on the lows.

What we probably do not see very easily, or still pretend to be apathetic towards, is our very co-existence with the earth. I call it co-existence now because it seems we’ve come to a point, when either humans manage to exist somehow, or the earth end our existence naturally, through one of its ‘disasters’. As an eg. we keep celebrating the usual pleasures of Formula-1 racing ( the author included ), even though we all know what its worth.

What we’re witnessing are times when the water slowly rises above our necks, you can still breathe, but inside your head you know you’re not seeing a way out of this; so you re-assure everyone around you that every thing’s gonna be okay, even though you barely speak through all the choking; in turn you believe someone’s giving you hope, when that someone is you, yourself, the drowning man.

So isn’t it like one of the many days of terror that Gotham witnesses, isn’t there a Joker somewhere around who keeps laughing on our faces, and asks us

Why so serious?

The beautiful contradiction problem!

Thinking about thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June

I guess, somewhere down the line, it does come to self-examination. There’s a reason for it, and its called insecurity. How can I keep on being the same everyday, what forces us to play cogs on the wheel, why are we so redundant?

Laying back, head on the grass
Children grown having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs

Its interesting, but if I may be allowed to manipulate Coelho, “God rarely reveals the future, and if he does, all that comes of it is the associated deja vu.” Do I believe, whatever doesn’t concern you, is not for you? I guess yeah. Have i been largely ignorant, uninterested in whatever went on? Am i a sinner for caring?

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

The signs lately do indicate that tendency of mine. To add to it, i’ve been labelled prejudiced and cold.
Maybe it’s for real. But it’s just me, dats how i role.

Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
And drinking was new

So what were the things that made me this. I guess, for starters, i always felt, that my only reason for existence was to be the king of the world. That i was the center around which the world was supposed to revolve, that everyone around was just a small part in my story.

Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Needed to go far

And that vision shattered, I lost things, I shudnt have….

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

So what’s the beauty of self-contradiction? Is it about opening your eyes?

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

Do i finally recognize the stranger in myself? Do i see the need to change? Do i understand what i missed?

Wake up cold coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?

Maybe its too late. Or maybe thats just a fear? What if i cud go back? How does one go back in time? I’d love to go back in time…..

I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about us instead
Talk about why did it end

Its not that i regret being where i am, but i regret being this thing that i am. I believe i owe an apology to all those i wronged. But should i apologize? Do i apologize?

Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
Made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one

NO SCREW U PEOPLE, U’RE STILL A PART OF MY STORY!

I don’t know where we are going now
I don’t know where we are going now

The above lines were written under the influence of a splendid track by The Stereophonics, namely Dakota, and to the author’s best knowledge, none of it is true. If u belvd. them, then he did you in!! A beautiful contradiction…. Do listen to it, the music will only make it better.

So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now

Movie Review: Jaane Tu…Ya Jaane Naa

viewed on : 04-07-2008 (release date)

Amateurish! is the first word that comes to my mind when i think of
Jaane Tu, the latest product out of the Aamir Khan production
house, and i surprise myself.

I went to the movie on its release day, expecting some more of that intelligent cinema that Aamir, one of my few last remaining bollywood hopes, has mastered so wonderfully, but found the movie a package full of age-old cliches mixed with cameo gigs revolving around an umpteenth remake of the best friends turned lovers theme.

So, Imran Khan plays Jai Rathore, a harmless guy next door who has a best friend in cat-fighting Aditi( Genelia ), who think they’re great friends, but not made for eachother( despite everyone else believing that ).
Hence, they undertake the cliched path of searching partners for eachother, and end up realizing that they’re infact the only 1s for eachother(as every1 else had known all the time ). Although the side gigs are not all that bad, wid nice parts by Ratna Pathak Shah, Naseeruddin Shah, Paresh Rawal, Sohail Khan and Arbaaz Khan, the movie fails to keep u interested, especially through the second half. The dialog delivery through most of the film is very mediocre( esp. Genelia ), and the acting is on occasions over-done, just to emphasize on the cheerful goings-on. The American sitcom style gang of friends approach also fails to provide anything refreshing. AR Rehman’s catchy music is probably the only good part.

Why Aamir, known to be so selective with what he works on, decided to go ahead wid this movie is unknown, and i’m not saying dat it’s gonna repel every1 lyk it repels me( esp. the lovers of masala time pass hindi flicks ), but it just seems to let down on the series of great works coming from Aamir’s production house( read Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, RDB, TZP ). I won’t really recommend ppl to spend 160 bucks lyk i did, but rather make it a 1 time dvd watch, just for the sake of Imran Khan’s debut, who plays his part well enough.

Rating: 6/10 + bad job 4 editing,n dialogues.
Watch out 4: Prateik Babbar ( interesting debut )